Wendy Francisco has been involved in youth,
pastoral, and music ministry for over three decades. She is a songwriter and
recording artist who travels internationally with her husband, Don
Francisco, and daughter, recording artist Annie Brooks. In addition to
music and ministry, Wendy is a published illustrator and artist. She
oversees an independent record company, designs and publishes several
websites, raises Andalusian horses, loves to cook, and can't stand
housekeeping. Wendy is currently co-writing a book with Bonnie Duell on
women in the Body of Christ.
"God has given us all many desires and talents. Mine were bottled up
until I realized that God's call to women is the same as His call to
men. The pressure I felt to stifle myself was not from God, but from
religious culture. God gave us all wings so that we could fly." - Wendy
Women in Marriage and Ministry
By Wendy Francisco
We believe in equality of men and women in both marriage and ministry.
Widespread misunderstandings and mistranslations resulting in gender hierarchy
are damaging to people, marriages, and to the Body at large.
It's amazing that this topic should even need to be elaborated on because the
greater principles of the Gospel should be all we need to guide us in all of our
relationships. The greater principles of love and mutual servanthood
should obviously be fully in effect within marriages rather than being set
aside for man-made doctrines of hierarchy. Gender hierarchy in both
marriage and ministry is a form of spiritual abuse.
As related to the cultures of it's time, the Bible was always radically
releasing to women in both marriage and ministry. We'll look at Ephesians 5, to highlight how Scripture is mistranslated and
incorrectly taught when it
comes to this subject. It's AMAZING to discover what this passage really
The Letter to Ephesians - For Us, But Not To Us
Ephesians is not a letter written to Western marriages! It is a letter
written to Christians who were living in a culture where marriage was a type of
slavery. Young teens were wedded to middle-aged men in order to bear them
a legal heir. It is difficult for us to imagine the level of degradation
and hopelessness these young wives must have experienced . . . perhaps more than
the slaves since freedom would never be a possibility. Paul was not
intending to set up gender hierarchy in marriage in these passages any more than
he was endorsing slavery by encouraging slaves to submit to their masters.
He was simply referring to the slavery and male headship that was already a part
of their secular culture. If you really want to understand the truths in
this passage, it is crucial to take into account the extreme cultural situation
that Paul was addressing. Women were on a level with children, perhaps
lower. They had no rights and no voice. Look at middle
eastern cultures and women today to get an idea of what Paul was dealing with.
Paul, The People Reformer
There are two ways to look at social reform. One is to look at it as a
goal of its own, ignoring the people who are trampled on the way to that goal.
But Paul saw social reform as a by-product of healed people who had a new vision
for life . . . a vision that left no one out. He had a heart for the
kings and leaders of those nations as well as the slaves. That is why he
did not teach Christians to rebel from the established order.
Paul was not a social reformer-- he was a people reformer. In all of his
writings he encouraged men and women to maintain the outward forms of their
culture, as long as that form did not directly conflict with their faith, so
that the Gospel would not be lost to that culture. In matters of the
heart, however, he called for total, immediate revolution.
Submit to One Another
Paul tells all Christians to "submit to one another". By "submit," he
means "underset." A perfect example is his own stated goal of seeing
everyone else as greater than himself so that he would never condescend to
another. His advice for wives was to stay in the same position...there
were no other options for her. . . but with a completely new heart. Paul's
directive to men was more powerful, in light of that culture than we realize.
The encouragement to love their wives as Christ loved the church is not a
general illustration but a specific one. He reminded the men of the low
position that the church had been in before she was redeemed . . . that she
needed washing and cleansing until she could be "presented" as a bride to
Christ. The word "present" in the Greek is literally translated
"beside-standing!" (Yes! We stand as perfect as Jesus before God
and, therefore, just as qualified to inherit the Kingdom! ) Because men had all
the authority and power in that fallen culture, they were to use their position
to lift the wives to equality in the relationship, thereby washing them from the
shame of their positions in that culture. Paul was not setting up gender
hierarchy and he is not placing the husband as a mediator between the wife and
God. He was describing how husbands would accomplish the "submit
yourselves one to another" with their wives in spite of their culture. He
was telling the Ephesian husband how to serve the wife! It is vital to
understand this part of Scripture, not only so we can understand God's intent
for marriage, but so we can grasp our position in Jesus!
Love and Respect
Paul encouraged wives to respect their husbands, who would most certainly
lose respect in that culture for treating a slave as an equal! Likewise,
the admonition to love the wife, specifically in a way that would lift her,
would be a complete departure for Ephesian men. Many people teach from
this passage that women are created to need more love, and men just naturally
need more respect. Paul is not being a psychologist here! King David
said to Abigail, "...lo, I have respected you . . ." before he married her!
We ALL need BOTH love and respect. Paul is not getting into fluffy,
flowery philosophy here either. He is being completely practical.
What Paul is going for is a healed Ephesian marriage that would by it's
wholeness and peace rock secular Ephesian culture without bruising a reed.
The Heart of Scripture Reversed
It is wonderful that today in secular American culture the rights of women
have grown to near equality as a result of the women's movement started by
evangelical Christian men and women early in the last century. What a sad
irony that the fallen secular Ephesian system of gender hierarchy that Paul
tried to peacefully to heal is being revived in fundamental western evangelical
circles! The result is a divorce rate that is ten percent higher now in the Body
than in the world!
The Fall - When Male Dominance Began
I can't close without throwing light on an Old Testament word that is
wrongly used to drive a huge nail into the coffin lid of gender hierarchy.
Eve was created as a "help." The Hebrew word for "help" is "ezer."
Let's just debunk the myths surrounding this word quickly. Everywhere else
in the Old Testament that it is used, "ezer" describes the coming help of
God, or, in a few cases, an army. In short, there is no hint of hierarchy
in it. In fact, logically, one could defend the case for a superior woman
with it! I don't know about you, but my head spun when I realized the
deception surrounding this word and what thin logic it sits on! The Lord
blessed male and female and gave them BOTH dominion. It was when we fell
that death, sickness, and male dominance entered the world. God told Eve
that she would seek relationship but would instead be controlled. The
reason doctrines of hierarchy still exist is that what God predicted is still in
the hearts of fallen people even after they find God--they seek to control or
be controlled. But, in Jesus, these things are redeemed.
"Order" - The Excuse for Hierarchy
So what next? How does an equal marriage function? Who leads? The answer is
the Spirit. Again, it is only in the absence of His Spirit that we fall
back into a role-based order. This type of relational structure creates an
outside appearance of order that is false and crushing. It is the
authority of the world and of man, not of God. True order comes from
serving each other and following Jesus. There are no mediators, not even
husbands, between God and humans except Jesus.
Order in marriage and ministry is not achieved by bringing heavy-handed roles
to bear. Order is a by-product of healthy people who are led by His
Spirit. In the absence of His Spirit, people will begin to lean on
role-based religion. The result will be strained, performance-based
relationships, and crushed, hurting people. The effects of these man-made
doctrines are staggering, leading to high statistics of emotional and physical
abuse within Christian homes. Don't be unequally yoked! That verse
is commonly applied to the marriage of believer to unbeliever . . . but if we
are both believers, the yoke is equal.
Real Men Have Equal Marriages
An equal marriage is a place where a deep friendship based on trust, love,
and mutual servanthood can grow. From this foundation, a fruitful and
healthy family and ministry can grow, too few people seem to understand that
ministry itself is the by-product of whole, joyful, loved, released people.
How silly it is to be fooled into thinking women are spiritual for denying the
gifts He gave us! The gifts that God gave all of us without regard to
race, age or gender, were meant to be expressed! Historically revival is always
accompanied by women flourishing in ministry. The degree to
which we limit women in marriage and ministry shows how far we are from
enlightenment and revival.