Intercessor for GWTW
I was 26 yrs. old, living in Spokane, Washington. My husband
was an Air Force pilot flying missions in Viet Nam. I was
depressed, something I had had to live with since my early teens.
I had tried to take my life several times and even spent time in a
psychiatric hospital for a month. As a child, I was
raised Catholic and tried to love God and to find Him. I
always knew He wanted me for something, and I was haunted by this
knowing and my inability to find Him.
The church's teaching to children in the late forties or so was to
present God as a punishing Father who knew everything you thought and
did. You did not escape punishment except by confessing sins to
the priest who represented God on earth. My early years were
plagued with nightmares in which the world was coming to an end by
earthquakes and floods. I would awake screaming because I could
not find the priest to tell him my sins so I could see God. I
became afraid to leave church after my confession because I was afraid I
would sin. I feared hell; and in my young innocent life, I
began living in a hell of fear.
My teenage years were fraught with rebellion, anger and rage.
This anger I directed at God because my parents were also abusive.
My mother, who was an alcoholic, took out her frustrations by beating me
up as the rage came over her. I felt God hated me. All the
messages I got said so. He was going to punish me in the
after-life and in this one. When I was sixteen, I became so full
of rage at my rejection that I took a baseball bat to church and climbed
up on the altar and began smashing the statues and screaming at God that
I hated Him too. That is when I spent time in a psychiatric
hospital. I learned after that to hide my feelings and
buried them so as not to ever go there again.
At age 26, I found myself going into a depression. I was alone
with a little child, and my husband was gone. I was
inadequate for the role I had to play. It was here that I was
forced to get psychiatric help. I spent four long years in therapy
finding out who I was and exploring anger. My therapy ended, and I
felt new and whole. BUT, still the knowing that God wanted my life
made me afraid to go to Him. He was still the same dangerous God
of my youth and therapy had not changed that.
My marriage began to fail; and at that point, two neighbors
(Spirit-filled) invited me to attend a prayer meeting at Gonzaga
University. It was there at that meeting that I heard a rich
strong voice speak out prophetically over the gathering.
Why, everybody stopped talking and praying as He talked as though he
were speaking for God! For the first time in my life I was perfectly
still and hearing. The man speaking was John Sandford.
I attended a few more of those meetings; and at the end of the third
one, my friends were leading me forward to be prayed for. I
had little understanding still. I was too timid to refuse to go.
Then, I was seated and those around me began to pray some in funny
languages. They told me to pray too, so I prayed the Hail Mary
prayer of my childhood, the only prayer I could remember. I
wanted to run out and go home.
Lying in bed at home later that night, I began to sense something
strange happening to me. I closed my eyes, wondering if I
were dying. Then, my hand shot out straight on the bed. My
palm felt hot like it was pierced. I could not move it.
Then, I heard a voice from within but not my own say, “Do you believe I
died for your sins?" I knew in an instant that voice was Jesus - the
Jesus I thought was a fairy tale story. He was talking to me! I
answered, "Yes, I believe." Then, another question, "Do you believe I
love you?” "Yes, I believe" was my answer, then darkness, the dreadful
fear of childhood, blackness forever without end. No one to hear
you, love you or comfort you. In the distance, I began to hear
singing, a chorus of angelic beings singing about God and praising Him.
I floated out of the darkness into a brilliant light. I waked up
and sat straight up in bed. I knew I was different and had
encountered God. I knew Jesus was real and loved me, and I knew my
life had changed forever. I ran to my friends’ house the next
morning and just at the sight of me they began to cry, and I began to
cry. I was no longer lost. Vickie had found her life and
then found her LIFE.
I received prayer from John Sandford once more and this time the Lord
delivered my life out of Satan's hands once and for all. I did not
know the jargon of deliverance and was not prepared for it. But
delivered I was. And at that time, John prophesied over my life.
He saw an open window in heaven by which God would bless me and lead me
forth into a ministry. He didn't say it to me, but today I know
that a piece of his mantle of healing fell on me. God placed in my
heart a desire to free others as He had freed me. I began to read
the Bible and other books about healing. I read Agnes Sandford's
books on healing, and then we moved to Dallas, Texas. Agnes
Sandford came to teach there in the late ‘60’s. When she laid
hands on me, I fell to the floor with such a thud that I shook the
floor. She looked at me straight in the eyes and said to me, "You
have it, don't you?” I knew what she meant.
This new baby Christian was loosed in Texas. I found a church to
attend and began praying for people every chance I had. I prayed
the model of prayer that had been prayed over me. Women began to
come to my home for special prayer for healing. BUT, soon the
church restrained me and the others from praying such prayers. All
praying had to be cleared by the priest. Because I did not stop my
praying, I was addressed publicly during a church service along with a
few others. I was a new Christian and not disciplined and unaware
of protocol, etc. My fire would soon go out as I was likened to
the devil. I left the church broken and ashamed. Jesus told
me to write out my pain to Him and that He would answer me. So, I
wrote letters to Him, telling Him all my feelings and expressing anger
towards Him. He answered me back by my own hand. He knew how
to raise a daughter without help from anyone. I would write and He
would answer me.
I met Barbara Collins during this time. I attended a Bible study
she taught. I wanted to get inside her brain and figure out where
she got the words she taught us. How could she make this Word come
alive? There were times when my heart would start thumping so loud I
thought others could hear it. I wanted to shout out, "I get it! I
hear what you're saying and understand what He is telling me!" At times
I provoked the group, but never her. I knew there was a similarity
in the voice God had spoken to me and the way she taught His Word.
I was healing from my wounds. Jesus loved me just as He had said.
I was not condemned.
I left Texas for Connecticut in the early ‘70’s and on fire again.
The group sent me off with a prayer covering and an inscription in the
Bible given to me that I memorized. BUT - Connecticut was not
ready for the radical prayers I began to pray over others. Again,
the backlash of rejection and those terribly condemning words about the
devil were hurled at me. I retreated and hid my light. A
friend had come with me to Connecticut. She also was of the same
Spirit, and we had each other for comfort. We prayed together but
left the church.
I wrote stories again to the Lord and comforted myself, using a special
language only the Lord knew. He spoke back to me in visions and
dreams. I wrote to John Sandford for many years, and he always
answered. He and Paula prayed me through many years and are today
my spiritual parents. It was not until many years had passed that
I found and joined a Christian Vineyard Fellowship church in the next
town. I slowly became a part of it, and then became a leader.
I began to notice women who for one reason or another were always on the
fringe - on the outside looking in. The Lord put a special love in
my heart for them, and I invited them to my home for fellowship and
The first two who came are sisters who suffer from mental illnesses.
After many years, they still come to my home on Fridays. Both have
been slowly healed and have taken on their own ministries. Others
also came, and some brought friends from other churches. The Lord
led me to others to invite. The group grows and then divides,
others taking on their own groups. We grow and divide. Some
just come for a while and leave. The Lord continues to meet us
here on Fridays as we worship Him. He has taught us how to
minister to one another. We have laughed and cried, and we know
each other intimately. We have been sharpened against one another.
We drop our denominations at the door and pick up the standard of the
Holy Spirit and move forward by God's grace. Our baby steps are
seen and blessed.
The Lord has opened another door for me to minister to elderly women who
attend a day care center in the building where I work. I have been
invited to lead them in worship and ministry. They are beautiful
and ready for their Lord and the Lord has not left them without.
They lift up their small arthritic hands and praise Him with me.
They are learning to pray for each other. They have begun to light
a candle when I come and to take charge in their own way. One
sings out with a voice that brings us all to tears. They are
finding they can still minister to each other.
By God's doing, I have found my teacher Barbara after many years.
I am older yet still feel like a child when I write to her. She
still provokes me to latch on to the Lord and challenges me in new ways
that tell me that I must be ready for revival as my Father God sees it
and brings it. Some of my old ways of relating to Him are being
transformed. I must be accountable for the ways in which I relate
His words. I love His intimacy, but He is looking for maturity and
is moving me out of childlike patterns. I find myself wanting to
be in prayer all the time. Some times I accidentally talk in the
Spirit to people, forgetting I am in the world. Most of the time,
they do not notice; and I laugh at myself. I know father God
I am honored and humbled to pray for you all, to join forces with you
and join your sisterhood to ours and mine. I am proud to walk
alongside of you as we pray in the kingdom of our God here on earth.
My heart is overwhelmed with joy at the thought of our oneness and
unity; something only He can do. Do you see Him standing in
Heaven, our Jesus, as we come home hand-in-hand and shoulder-to-shoulder
without a break in our ranks? Oh, how He is applauding, His heart full
because we are His and He is ours!
Your sister, Vickie Manfredi