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Letters 2007

The letters are posted in ascending order--the ones from January will be last with the most recent closest to the top.   Our responses are in italics and there is a horizontal line  between each post. 


Dear GWTW,

Because I come from a traditional church and they don't believe in women preachers/pastors, how do I know that God is calling me to preach? I have been struggling with this for a long time and can't seem to shake this tugging I feel from him to preach and I keep questioning God because I want do His will and not man's.

Can you help me?

Dear One,

Do you have access to the internet? If so, you need to get on the God's Word to Women website and start reading. Take a look at the links on the left side of the page. You'll find Scripture Study on that includes the scriptures that limit women and the articles under Articles by Topic are broken into topics so that you can work through the ones that are relevant to your search. You may also be helped by the section entitled Women in History. It's under Studies in the links on the left side of the page.

Under recommended books, you will find many excellent books on the subject of women in ministry and biblical womanhood in general. Obviously we do not believe the traditional position that God limits the gifts that He gives to women. There have been many women--even listed in the scriptures--that were ministers of the gospel. One is even called an apostle.

I have given you these suggestions because there is no way anyone can answer the question for you. You much read and study for yourself and let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart.

Pat Joyce


Dear Barbara, Pat & Gay,

I am a 35 yr old woman, who received the Lord about 5 yrs ago. I have been married to a man for 11 yrs, but have been together for 16. We have both overcome many obstacles in our lives, however, my husband does not go to church. Being a Christian, it seems our paths have veered away from one another. Although there is no physical abuse, I feel I am being abused in other ways. Mainly in the area of finances and being irresponsible. He feels that his 40 hour a week job is enough, even though we just went through 2 weeks of having no heat in our home. I have been looking for work to help make ends meet, and he thinks once that happens everything will be fine. Last year he took out 5 credit cards, three of which were without my knowledge. He is now $5000.00 in debt. He has been called for Jury duty twice in the last three months, and has not gone. We couldn't even pay our mortgage this week. When desperate situations come up, I am the one who has to go begging and find a way to get us out of it. I could tell you more, but you get the idea.

I spoke to my pastor about it, and got the same advice most women do. "Are you honoring him? Respecting him, telling him how proud you are of him, giving him sex..." They also gave me a book which basically says the same thing, his behavior is a direct result of me. How in the world is his irresponsibility my fault?? This is something that's been going on for a couple years, and nothing has changed. I've tried doing what my pastor told me, and in doing so, my husband thinks everything is fine, that I'm satisfied and happy, and he actually gets worse. I find many authors who write books don't have the correct perspective, since they are married to Christians, or their spouses at some point have come to the Lord. I feel my walk with God is being hindered because of my situation. I know the Lord is my provider, but what ever the Lord may bless me with, I am afraid I would lose to my husband's actions. Is this a form of abuse? Is this grounds for separation/divorce?

I am not looking for a hand out, but if you could send any books or anything that would help me I'd appreciate it, although I am unable to purchase anything at this time. I really am at a loss as to what to do.
May God bless you,

My dear Lynn:

Go to www.joelandkathy.com.  You may click and receive a free 85-page excerpt. We will feature a chapter in our next newsletter which should be out about mid-April. It's not your fault, and you didn't need to go begging. However, you must not let your husband get off without demanding some changes from him.

Try it out, and let us hear from you.

Ever His,
Barbara Collins


Barbara, Gay and Pat,

Yesterday I found out about your site because I was directed to an article "Did Paul Really Say, 'Let the Women Keep Silent in the Churches?'" there by a sister in our assembly. I knew women are allowed speak in assembly because of 1Co14:1, 23, 24 and other scriptures; and I knew women are allowed to teach because of verse 26, so with my limited knowledge and not having really studied this topic in depth, the only thing I could logically conclude was that women were not to publicly " correct, question or debate a man." And in my mind, I was absolutely right about my conclusion!

After reading the article, I repented (change my mind) of my erroneous thinking (belief) and have been released from the bondage my wrong belief caused. I long for the all revelation that God promises through His word. I get excited and have great joy when the Father shows me new truth (revelation), by any means He chooses, because it sets me free and conforms me more and more to the image of Jesus. It was truly great line upon line teaching, and I was extremely blessed by it.

I have begun reading other articles from GWTW, and am amazed and angered by how much error I have been taught (and accepted), and how much I have personally misinterpreted in my study of God's word - things that I should have seen, but just completely missed. I see even more clearly the truth of 1Co13:12, and also the old proverb, "Text without a context is a pretext."

I cannot give enough accolades and praise for the ministry you are accomplishing. I thank our Lord that He has made these teachings available to me through you. I thank Him also that he has given me the grace to have "eyes to see and ears to hear" what He's saying to His body. The Godly wisdom pouring forth from the articles of your women authors, combined with the topics which they exegete, makes the truths of Gal 3:28 and Acts 10:34 more real to me than ever before.

God bless you richly,

Dear Br. Paul:

How delighted we are that you "found" our website. I believe the Holy Spirit led you there! Certainly you encourage us greatly, and we have nothing but thanksgiving and praise unto Him. Too, you'll find not only articles by women but men as well. You'll also find articles by people of color like Gerald McCray and Richard Barnor as well as Wanda Boone, Bernadine Tillman, and Gayle Rogers.

 Thanks for asking the Lord to "bless us richly." We'll just ask Him to bless you richly as well--a hundred-fold!

Ever His,
Barbara Collins


Dear GWTW,

I would like to offer a biblical marriage course to my church that I would feel "safe" presenting without patriarchal, husband is the priest of the home etc teachings but instead promoting mutual equality. Please can you recommend any? I would have to order online as the Christian Bookstores in our city only stock Focus on the Family kind of courses.
Thank you.
Best regards

Dear Ethel:

Take a look at www.joelandkathy.com.  They have some really excellent material. We are putting up an article from their first book--probably today. The books are
The Man of Her Dreams/the Woman of His books 1 and 2. You can order the first one on CD (4) or DVD. I think this should give you a really good course.

If you need more on the partnership between men and women take a look at http://www.godswordtowomen.org/maleandfemale.htm  where we have Dr. Carrie Miles book up that can be downloaded for use without charge.

We'd love to know how this turns out.

Pat Joyce

Dear Pat.
I downloaded the extract from Joel and Kathy's book last night. I would like to order the DVD's BUT would like to hear what you think before I do that. Most of what I have read on your site and researched for myself is confirmed in the extract but the one thing that is bothering me is often throughout the extract and particularly in Chapter Sixteen "Desiring your husband is a good thing" they state that that desiring your husband (Genesis 3:16) is God's plan for women. Perhaps I am reading too much into this and it would not be a problem when showing the DVD? The articles on GWTW explain that Genesis 3:16 was not God's plan but a consequence of the Fall (even though desiring one's husband is not a bad thing!!). It is a niggling thing for me however as it is not the correct translation/explanation. What do you think? Should I present the material and explain, or show it and ignore?

Dear Ethel:

You asked for something on marriage and that was the best thing we could think to offer. I'm wondering just what you believe the people need. Personally, I needed to know what God said about me as a woman--did He consider me second class. I needed scriptural proof that I wasn't to "submit" to my husband in things that were not of the Lord. I needed to know that God used gifting not gender to confirm anointing in an area. So much I needed. This may not be the need of your audience. If it is, I'd start in Genesis and go carefully over chapters 1 through 3. Show them that God's original intent was for men and women to have dominion over everything but each other--that they need each other to be complete, that marriage is that one flesh union where one can be naked and unashamed.

I'd go to our website and pull these articles,
http://godswordtowomen.org/one_flesh.htm  , http://godswordtowomen.org/patriarchy_gender_miles.htm http://godswordtowomen.org/Preato3.htm http://godswordtowomen.org/boss.htm http://godswordtowomen.org/head.htm http://godswordtowomen.org/wendyfrancisco.htm http://godswordtowomen.org/jesus.htm  Then I'd see what kind of logical order the Lord would give to presenting the information. Even if you do the other course, it would be good to share some of this. Women need to find themselves as worthwhile individuals, loved and treasured by God and not limited in their calling by being a woman.

If this is not the way you need to go, if you really need something on marriage only--rather than what constitutes biblical womanhood then the stuff from the Davissons is probably as good as you are going to find. If you use it, be sure to watch each segment and to correct any error that you find. No one has it all right. We are all looking for God's way. We have told the Davissons that we disagree with that segment, we'll have to see if they change things when they republish.

Please keep us posted on how the class goes. If we can help in any way, let us know.


Dear Pat
I consider it a tremendous blessing and privilege to be able to make contact with you. Thank you, I needed your words of wisdom and direction.  I will order the DVD's because yes 99.9% of the teaching is what men and women need to hear - I will give some information using some of the studies perhaps as an intro to the DVD's or perhaps at times when extra explanation is needed.  I will let you know when I start what the response is.   I feel an urgency in presenting this study (I am  the Women's Ministry Coordinator) as there have been numerous requests for a Marriage Course.
Thank you again, God bless,


To whom it may concern:

I need help and I think I'm in an abusive relationship. This guy I've been seeing was extremely sweet for the first two weeks of our relationship. Then he slowly started to become more and more rude and cruel. I had been divorced about a year prior to this relationship and well this guy I'm with now basically calls me crazy, stupid, he likes to put me down and is overly critical about my body.  He just blurts whatever is on his mind without thinking about the effects of his words. He is very sweet when he needs me and every time I break it off with him. I know in my head that this isn't good for me but like he keeps saying he's at a stressful point in his life. But that does not excuse him nor does it allow him to be cruel. I've talked to him over and over again about how much it hurts me when he says all these horrible things, but somehow it turns out being my fault because I'm overly sensitive. Then I feel bad because now I'm starting to be convinced that I AM in fact too sensitive. . .but then again why should someone be disrespected like this? I treat him right and I would like to be treated properly in return...is there any hope here?


Dear A,

If you re-read your letter to GWTW, I believe you will see the answer to your own question: "Am I in an abusive relationship?" The answer is a clear and unequivocal "Yes."

From Dr. Jay Grady's book "Stop Verbal Abuse:"

First, relationship abuse usually involves a pattern of abusive events. Except in rare cases, a single incident usually does not constitute abuse. Instead, there is typically a pattern of repeated destructive behavior that escalates over time.

Second, abusive relationships involve the use of power and control. The abuser's goal is to ensure that he or she is in complete control of you and the relationship. Their controlling tactics may be subtle and not easily recognized. It may seem that their taking control of your time, friends, and daily activities was a sign of caring and wanting only the best for you. As time went by, the control you once had over your life disappeared. Gradually using a wide range of strategies, they were able to render you totally powerless and place themselves in complete control of the relationship. Verbal abuse can be extremely painful and damaging and its effects long lasting. It could be termed a "SILENT KILLER." As with physical violence, verbal abuse can take many forms, but the goal is to change your self point of view. Verbal abuse is designed to make you feel powerless.

One of its main focuses is to make you feel "worthless." Verbal abuse takes a tremendous emotional toll! Here is a partial list of behaviors that are included in verbal abuse.[2]

1. Yelling 2. Accusing  3. Using sarcasm 4. Threatening 5. Insulting 6. Treating you with scorn  7. Intimidating  8. Humiliating 9. Putting you down 10. Ridiculing 11. Blaming 12. Disparaging your idea 13. Name-calling
 14. Belittling  15. Rejecting your opinion  16. Criticizing  17. Mocking 18. Trivializing your desires

I've added this excerpt with this list to help you identify what HE is doing is wrong and that you are NOT being overly sensitive to his cruelty. This is the cycle of violence that only gets worse over time, as confirmed by the thousands/millions of battered women and children. His stress is HIS problem and you are not his verbal punching bag--unless you volunteer to be at this point.

All the sweet talk in the world does not excuse abusing you at any time; in fact, it fits the pattern of a chronic abuser.

With all of these signs and considering the questions and tone of your letter, you seem to be at a crossroads; do I stay or do I go? A, this is not normal, it is not good, and Yes, it is abusive. There is no hope for a healthy relationship with these dynamics.

Please seek out some local support groups to walk with you in your journey, and be assured that we are praying with you. Here are a few online resources for support.

Angel Survive
I survive
Lighthouse Sanctuary

Keep in touch, A, letting us know how you are doing!



Thank you for your wonderful site. I'm thrilled that you are featuring Kathrine Bushnell. I was, however, disappointed when I realized your sub-title was not a book. I saw: "The Adventures of Kate Bushnell and
Elizabeth Andrew," and I mistook it for a book. I could find no such book on Amazon. Is there a modern biography? If not, are you planning to write one? I write books myself, but am way too backlogged to even
contemplate it. I'd love to hear from you.

Ruth Tucker

P. S. Thanks for making reference to my co-authored book, Daughters of the Church.

Dear Ruth:

Our website was a result of our reading Katharine Bushnell's book God's Word to Women. She spoke to all of us in a profound way. The book, God's Word to Women is available on the website or it can be purchased from us. We republished it a couple of years ago. The Bushnell and Andrews book, The Queen's Daughter's in India was written by them after they had investigated the brothels that served the British troops then in India. It is out of print and we made it available online.

I love your book Daughters of the Church. I have learned much from it and appreciate all the work that went into it. Our website attempts to enlighten anyone who is searching for truth about the place of women in God's design. There are many wonderful articles that cover most if not all the problem areas. Please pray that God will continue to show us His direction for this ministry.

Thanks so much for the encouragement.
Pat Joyce


Dear GWTW,

What an enormous blessing it was to come upon this website! I am 22 years old and have always felt that the traditional teaching about women in the Church was wrong but I didn't know how to back up my feelings. Now I do! May God truly bless you and prosper you and your ministry. I believe now is the time for women to realize the fullness of our freedom in Christ Jesus! I was wondering if you could let me know how I can help get the word out and seek justice for women. I feel as though I could burst! I want everyone to know the truth! I also wanted to recommend that you offer the book What Paul Really Said About Women on your website as a resource as it offers a lot of tremendously helpful information.
Your Sister in Christ,

Dear Olivia:

Thank you so much for your words. It is letters like yours that keep us pumped up and excited that the word is being discovered. We recommend Who Said Women Can't Teach under "recommended books." You can buy it from Amazon for a good price. I believe that Christians for Biblical Equality also carry it. It was one of the first that I read and it is truly a blessing.

We re-published God's Word to Women by Katharine Bushnell to keep it in circulation because we think it is foundational to all the other works. Trombley quotes her! We also sell a couple of books that you can't buy in the US,
The Source New Testament, and More than Meets the Eye by Ann Nyland from Australia and From Bondage to Blessings by Dee Alei who published it in England.

I'm going to put you on the list for our quarterly Newsletter. The Spring edition should be out in a week or so. I'll send you the Winter one. Anyway, one way to spread the word is to let people know about our website and a way to do that is to forward the newsletter to everyone that God prompts.

I don't know where you live, but you would profit greatly by coming to our Gathering and then on to the Apostolic Women Arising conference in June. The information link is on the main page. It's going to be great. Our Gathering will allow for dialogue on the issues along with response to questions on areas that are giving problems. Not only that, the networking is priceless.

You may also want to take a look at the CBE website, www.cbeinternational.org  They have a bookstore and lots of excellent material. Have you checked out the podcasts and the blog? I think these are going to be important tools in getting the message out.

So glad you wrote to us.

Pat Joyce


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